Episode 187. I Lost My Self-Confidence As An Entrepreneur... My Story On How To Rebuild Your Confidence
What happens when you LOSE your SELF CONFIDENCE as an entrepreneur, or you're struggling to have self-confidence to begin with?
As an entrepreneur, you are often told to put yourself out there, create content, sell more, pitch more, KLT (Know Like Trust)... all of which boils down to one MAJOR ingredient...SELF CONFIDENCE as an entrepreneur.
I've always had a healthy dose of confidence as an entrepreneur, proud of the business I've been building and loved the content I was creating...
Until one day a few months ago, my self-confidence went down faster than a rollercoaster drop.
As a part of the journey to re-gain and rebuild my self-confidence and self esteem as an entrepreneur, I tried different methods and felt compelled to share my learnings with you all. Here's what I did to build self-confidence again as an entrepreneur, what I found worked for developing self confidence, and what didn't work out for me.
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If your goals don't not match up with what you're thinking, how you're feeling, and what you believe about yourself, then it doesn't really matter what goals you set.
When you an entrepreneur, one of the advice that you often get is you've got to create content, put yourself out there so that people find you, know you, like you, and trust you as you built your brand.
Creating content is super important, being on social media or any platform, getting interviewed, speaking on stages, all those things that built your brand, build your brand presence, build your brain authority.
But what happens when you lose that self-confidence to create content or to pitch yourself, or to go on stages or go on podcasts to talk about you and your business?
And a huge part of creating content and putting yourself out there, getting onto PR circuit, getting found comes down to self confidence as an entrepreneur, being confident in your business, being confident in who you are and the service and the products that you're providing, the value that you're providing to your target audience.
I want to share my journey going through that period of losing my self-confidence as an entrepreneur, what I've been doing to build up my confidence again in my business, and the content I'm creating and the different things that I've been trying, the things that work and the things that didn't work - and what I'm doing right now to build up self-confidence as a person and as an entrepreneur.
Now over the past couple of months has been a really weird, funky time period for me. I lost all connection with my content, with the work that I'm doing. I haven't been showing up often on YouTube. I haven't been showing up often on my podcast.
And when I do show up, it's often assay collaboration or the focus is on someone else. I've stopped creating content where I'm actually really sharing and teaching. And a huge part of that is because I lost my self-confidence.
My self-confidence as an entrepreneur, it has waned just out of the blue. I've always been a very confident entrepreneur. I've always shown up. Creating content has never been difficult for me.
Like over time, obviously I've gotten better and better at it, but confidence has never been an issue. And suddenly out of the blue, the past couple of months, I just didn't feel confident enough to talk about the things that truly matter to me.
Now, for me, self-confidence is probably one of the basic foundations of running a business, any kind of business, right? A huge part of building a business, a huge part of creating content, a huge part of is putting yourself out there.
Whether that's picking up the phone and calling a potential client, sending an email to someone that you think is super successful and you want to collaborate with that person, whether it's creating content on YouTube, or as a podcast episode, asking whether you can go on someone's podcast.
All these things are the fundamental blocks of running a business and getting your business out there so that people find you. It's the fundamental block of marketing, and this is where self-confidence come in, right?
Self-Confidence helps you to feel comfortable, to feel confident to put yourself out there. If naturally you struggle with confidence, if you naturally don't have that self-confidence, then it's going to be really difficult to put yourself out there, because you're always going to talk yourself out of it.
You're always going to say, I'm not good enough. I don't know what to talk about. Who am I to do this? And so, as I was telling you in the intro of this video that the past couple of months has been really weird for me.
I completely stopped creating content on YouTube that is just me teaching you, or me talking to you, or me sharing something. I completely stopped it because I had nothing to talk about. I had no idea what to talk about. I had no idea what to share.
And if you've been following me on YouTube on my podcast for any amount of time, then you probably realize that I've always been a marketer. I've always been creating marketing videos and marketing podcast episodes and marketing tips and business tips, and so on. That has been my thing. I've always been a marketer.
I've spoken at top marketing conferences in the US, in different parts of the US, and that was my identity and as an entrepreneur as well, you know, I am a marketer. I run a marketing agency, these are the marketing services that we offer.
And so what I believe kicked off this drop and this dip in self-confidence was early in 2021. So this year I made a decision to start a brand new company to shift my focus from marketing to this brand new company, MindFuel Community, because of a shift in my own personal development and my own personal goals in life, and what I feel like I'm honest here to do.
I love marketing, marketing has been in my blood for years. I used to work in a marketing ad agency. I've been doing marketing since I got out of school and I'm in my mid thirties. Now marketing has been a part of my life for so long.
And so when I decided to shift away from something that I knew so well and was known for into this brand new business that was all about mindset and energy, subconscious beliefs, mental health, self love for entrepreneurs, it suddenly felt like, who am I to be doing this? Who am I to be talking about this? What do I really know about this?
I know everything about marketing, but what do I really know about these things? And so for the past couple of months, I went from really confident creating YouTube content all the time about marketing, getting thousands of views on some of my videos to, I don't even know what to talk about.
I was completely clueless and blank when I was sitting there thinking about what YouTube video topics should I even be talking about. And I reached a point where I was like, I don't even want create videos anymore.
And I enjoy this. I enjoy creating YouTube. And I just realized, like, I just didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't want to put myself out there. I just didn't feel confident enough because I wasn't sure what people would think about me. I wasn't sure what others would say. Like, who does Chrystabelle thinks she is to talk about mindset or talk about subconscious beliefs? Like who does she think she is?
And no one ever said that to me. I said it to myself. And so I realized this dip in my confidence and my self confidence as an entrepreneur and I wasn't able to show up.
And the worst part of that was just recently, last month, I ran a huge online conference. I invited top leaders and speakers in mindset, in self care, in manifestation, and abundance and all that and I invited them to come speak at a conference.
Obviously as the organizer and the host of this online conference, as part of my brand new business, I wanted to create a presentation. I didn't just want to show up as a host, as a moderator asking them questions. I wanted to present as well.
I want it to present because I wanted my audience to also connect with me, who I was, and my brand. But as we were coming up to the actual conference dates, I realized that I had nothing to talk about. I couldn't figure out what exactly was going to be the topic of my presentation. I didn't feel confident enough. I felt like I was a total imposter and I didn't present.
I didn't present at my own conference. I didn't even introduce myself. I give a quick introduction. Hey, my name is Chrystabelle. I am the moderator, the host of this conference. This is my company, that's it. And then I hit behind the scenes and I only asked questions.
After the conference was done, I had time to just sit back and do an evaluation as I always do after every event that I do.
After every launch, every online conference that I run, I always take time off to evaluate what went wrong, what went right, what could have been better. And one of the things that hit me was, oh my God, you did not even show up. You did not even talk. You did not even present. You did not even share.
All I did was to hide behind the questions, hide behind all these speakers and authorities and leaders, because I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt like I had nothing to share.
And someone that I know said to me, how is it possible that you think that you have nothing to share? You've been in the entrepreneurial space for so long. You have so much information and so much experience that you need to talk about it. You need to show you are good enough. You're more than good enough.
And it took someone else to tell me that for me to realize that I was holding myself back because I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt like I had nothing to share because I've always been a marketer, and who was I to talk about something else other than marketing.
And so, as I started to realize that, it really hit me like a brick in my face. So I started to work on my self confidence as an entrepreneur, because I know how important it is to show up confidence, to be proud of what I'm doing, because no one else is going to take my business seriously... No one else is going to take my work and who I am seriously, if I am not even confident enough of what I'm doing, of all the change that I'm trying to create.
So I got to work on my self confidence. And so I want to share the things that I tried, that people recommended, that I've read online, and it didn't quite work for me. And then at the end, and I want to share what actually worked and what I'm still doing every single day, and what I'll recommend that you do if you too are struggling with self-confidence.
Now, one of the first things that I tried when I was working on building up my self-confidence was affirmation. People often tell you, you got to say affirmations. You got to say things to yourself amazing things to boost you up. It lifts up your confidence. So things like, "I am a great entrepreneur". "I create content that people love that people want to consume". These are the affirmations that you want to speak to yourself every day.
And that's what I tried. I would stand in front of mirror or I'll be in my bed, right before I go to sleep, and I would say to myself, "I am a successful entrepreneur. I am building a business that is so much more than just about the money. I am building a legacy here with my business. I am impacting the lives of entrepreneurs".
But I didn't feel like the affirmations helped me. In fact, I don't think affirmations really work. And the reason why I say that it is because it is one thing to say that "I am rich. I am wealthy. I am an amazing leader. I am showing up. I am known as a great entrepreneur".
It is one thing to say out those affirmations, and it is another thing to believe it, to feel it within yourself, that everything that you're saying right now is actually who you are.
And so I felt like the affirmations that I was saying was just basically me just regurgitating the things that I felt like I should be saying. I didn't really have this emotional connection to it.
So do affirmations work? I do believe they work only if you connect your emotions to it. You're not just saying things like, "oh, I am rich. I am abundant. I am amazing. I am loved. I am respected", and you don't believe it.
So you got to have some kind of emotions attached to whatever that you're saying. So affirmations are the first thing that I tried.
Now the second thing that I tried was to set goals. Now, as I mentioned to you, I am a very disciplined person. When I set goals, I stick to my goals. I always follow the things that I say. I keep my promises to myself and I take them very seriously.
One reason why people will suggest that setting goals to build your self-confidence is because if you keep doing, you might be afraid, but if you do it and you do it over and over and over again, if you keep trying to hit your goals, for example, I'm going to create four videos for YouTube even though I'm afraid.
And I want to boost my self confidence as an entrepreneur, I'm going to show up even though I am afraid, then over time, you start to build that self-confidence.
And so that's what I did. I set goals for myself. I want to create this for podcast episodes. I want to stick to it every single Monday, I'm going to do it no matter what.
And I felt like it didn't work. And it didn't work because... or it didn't work as I thought it would work, because setting goals, you know, a lot of times think about it. Every January, people are like, I'm going to set a goal. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to lose weight for this year. I'm going to make this amount of money, whatever. I'm going to quit smoking. I'm going to set a goal for that.
And they don't achieve it. Why is that? Why don't people achieve their goals? They don't achieve their goals because deep down inside of them, they don't have the thoughts and the beliefs of someone who is fit, or someone who is a non-smoker, or someone who is a successful entrepreneur.
When you don't have those thoughts and beliefs, then it doesn't matter if you're setting goals for it. You're not going to achieve it because you're like, who am I to do that?
So you might be setting goals to build your self-confidence by setting goals to create YouTube videos every single week. While you're going to show up, you're not going to feel confident. You're not going to feel confident because it's not who you are.
Your mind still tells you that you're not good enough. Your mind still has thoughts about things like who are you to do that? Who am I, Chrystabelle, to be creating videos about subconscious beliefs, thoughts, what we think we manifest, right? Who am I to be doing that?
And so setting goals, it's great. But you got to realize that if your goals did not match up with what you're thinking and how you're feeling and what you believe about yourself and a belief about your self confidence, then it doesn't really matter what goals you set.
And then the last thing that I tried was to face your fears. Depending on who you ask and the entrepreneurial friends that you have, very often, you get very gung-ho entrepreneurs who are like, what's wrong with you? You might be afraid, but you just gotta do it. Just got to face your fears, right? Face your fears.
If facing my fears was as easy as telling me to face my fears and just buckle up and find the confidence that you need, then the world be full of confident people, the world would be full of people who are facing their fears.
But a matter of fact is, it's not as easy as just gung-hoing up and facing your fears. There's a lot of science behind it. A lot of brain science behind that, a lot of thoughts and emotions and feelings that go behind that.
A lot of subconscious beliefs around that is preventing you from just simply facing your fears and start building self-confidence. And so for me, that was just a very simplistic way of just saying, hey, you're afraid, too bad suck it up, face your fears. And I definitely don't think that helps anyone at all.
So what actually worked in helping me build my self-confidence so that today, I can create this YouTube video for you. Well, there are two things.
The first thing that really worked is self-hypnosis and visualization. If you've never heard of self-hypnosis, it's basically hypnosis but you're doing it on yourself. So you are self hypnotizing yourself, and it's actually a really simple process.
All you need to do is to calm yourself down, be in a quiet space, close your eyes, relax, lose yourself. And as you start to relax, you start to envision the person that you want to be.
You start to envision the life that you want to have. You start to envision anything positive that you want to have as you envisioned it. You want to think of that as how you already have it.
So not something like, oh, I want to create YouTube videos. And I've been doing self-hypnosis for the past couple of months, every single day in the morning. The first thing I do when I wake up and right before I sleep, I've been doing self hypnosis.
And sometimes even during the day, whenever I start to feel a dip in my self-confidence, or a dip in anything, any performance around my life, I just center myself. I sit down in a quiet space. I block out all sounds. I close my eyes and I get into self-hypnosis.
And in my self hypnosis, I remind myself that I am a successful entrepreneur. I am creating value for my community of entrepreneurs. I am a leader in the space of mindset, energy and subconscious beliefs for entrepreneurs. I am, and I take it as it is. I take that as a fact.
I don't take it as maybe I am. I don't know. Right? So that's the whole thing about self self-hypnosis and has really helped me.
And then tied to that is the visualization part where I start to imagine myself being that person. So if I say that I am a leader in this field, how would a leader in this field show up? What would a leader in his field be doing? And so I'm visualizing myself doing that.
So very often, recently I've been visualizing myself creating YouTube video content. It's just visualizing myself, showing up, being self-confident and seeing myself in that very exact role. So that's number one - the thing that really worked very well for me was self-hypnosis and visualization.
And here's the reason why it worked so well. Unlike just saying affirmations, with self-hypnosis and visualization, you are actually changing the way that your brain is thinking you're changing the way that you believe about yourself. It change the thoughts that you have to change and the vibration.
And so you're not just saying things and having no emotional connection to it. With self-hypnosis, you'll start to realize that you are changing who you believe about yourself. And so where I was struggling with thoughts of like, "I'm not good enough? Who am I to be doing this?" I've started to change that into, "I am a leader in this field. I am creating an impact in this world. I am creating a business that is actually going to create a legacy and leave a legacy."
Now, the second thing that really worked for me was sitting down and working out my purpose. My why - the reason why I do what I do, the reason why I even started this brand new business.
Starting a brand new business and pivoting from marketing to this brand new business is honestly scary. It hasn't been easy because it is so far from what I've been doing, that it's scary. I have to start from fresh, create a brand new audience for this new brand, because the people who used to follow me from marketing might not be interested in mindset, energy, or subconsciousness. It might just be so far off for them. And so I have to create a brand new audience.
I have to create brand new content. I have to think about new things to talk about. And it is scary, right? It is really scary. And so I got to ask myself, why am I doing this? Why this, why not anything else? Why not set up an e-commerce store? Why not do anything else? Why this?
And so once I figured out why I'm doing this, why I've created MindFuel Community, what's the purpose behind it? What's the impact that I'm trying to envision with this company? That's when it started to make sense for me.
So that any time, when I'm like, who am I to be doing this, I'm like snap out of it. Snap out of it because I am creating this for a reason. And the reason is this purpose. So I cannot allow myself to be in that mode of I'm not good enough, or who am I to do this, and that self-pitying and all that negativity, when I know that I've got a purpose and a why behind what I'm doing.
And I got to show up, because if I'm not showing up, if I'm not creating this, then I am not putting an amazing product, and an amazing business, and amazing content in front of the people who would actually really benefit from it.
Because the moment that you know why you're doing it, the purpose you're doing it, then you know that your business is actually going to help the lives of your target audience.
And so if you're not showing up with self-confidence, you're not creating content because you're too afraid. You're not putting yourself out there. You're not talking about your business or your service because you're too afraid - you're doing them a disservice. You're doing yourself a disservice.
And so that's been my journey for the past couple of months, as I've been trying to figure out how to build up my self confidence again, as an entrepreneur, my self esteem, my confidence in the work that I'm doing, the process and creating the business that I'm building the lives I'm trying to impact and the things that worked and the things that didn't work well.
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