Episode 172 - Becky Stanton: Is Lack And Scarcity Hurting Your Business Growth

What's the story behind becoming a mindset coach?

I'm a mindset and manifestation coach, so I support female entrepreneurs to have an abundance and success mindset, in order to work with the universe and manifest what you want. But it hasn't always been my reality, which is why I'm so passionate about it.

So only three, four years ago, my mindset was completely in the lack, full of scarcity. I had every mindset issue, from fear of success, fear of failure, fear of judgment, just playing really small. And I'd been like that for a long while.

I think, and my opinion is most of our belief systems and our subconscious mind is formed in those formative years under eight seven, so I had these worthiness issues and I didn't feel worthy for things I wanted. It definitely played out in my past at school, at university, and in my career.

When we start a business and put ourselves out there, we're completely out of the comfort zone. I was going into the online space and had a message to share and wanted to start coaching and bringing clients, and all of those inner beliefs and turmoil came to the surface.

I realized I wasn't taking action, I didn't believe in myself. I had big dreams, but just couldn't imagine how to get there. That gap was so big between where I was and where I wanted to be. And naturally, or you could say I was guided universally to start the mindset journey. So I started to realize very early on that I am in my own way.

I'm tripping myself up because I have these moments of inspiration. I'm full of passion. I'm a big daydreamer. I can see what I want to create, but it's not happening. I'm the one in the way there. So as soon as I made that decision that I can change because I'm in control, that is when things started to unfold.

And that's where my mindset and spiritual journey began, and it led me to... originally it wasn't to become a coach. I was just fascinated with the world and I was exploring businesses, more creative businesses. So party planning, and one of them was around Christmas. And then I had another idea, which actually I took more action on, which was home organizing.

So the Marie Kondo movement was happening, and it was just before the Netflix program came out, and I just felt so inspired because I knew the connection between environment and our mindset and how it makes you feel and therefore the actions you take.

So it just evolved and from there, the messages kept coming up - that mindset, your passion, and I retrained as a mindset coach.

What are some of the common reasons why entrepreneurs develop mindset blocks?

I truly believe that the core, it comes down to the worthiness and feeling enough. So a lot of these limitations or the self-sabotaging behavior we have at the core, is because we don't feel worthy of it.

We don't feel like we deserve, it feels that we have to do something or be something, or wait until something happens in order for it to happen for us. That's definitely the theme across my clients, and that's the journey I've been on as well.

But it does happen in those early years. Under the age of seven, you don't have your conscious logical mind formed. You're purely that sub-conscious sponge. Everything you see, you hear, you're told, your experience, is just going into your subconscious mind is truth.

And the more you see it and experience it or hear it, the stronger that belief happens, and unconscious mind comes along. After the age seven, we start to think more critically and logically but you have shaped your belief systems early on.

And those patterns, those automatic habitual patterns, which is all formed in the sub-conscious mind rules the show. So by the time we start our businesses, whether you're 16 or 26 or whatever age it is you're doing it, the beliefs you shaped zero to seven is purely from things you've learned from school, from parents, any of your network and your environment around you.

And the powerful message is it's not who you are, and this is where worthiness comes in. It's understanding that what you've experienced and what you've learned has nothing to do with who you were born as this worthy human being that can achieve anything.

You look around you, what all the humans are achieving. That's possible for you too, when you work on your mindset and realize what you're worth.

How do we even know if we are struggling with lack and scarcity as a mental blockage?

Think of something you desire, think of something you want, and do you have it yet?

If you don't have it, ask yourself why don't I have it? That's when the patterns and excuses and the reasons come up, and you might be like, oh, I haven't learned enough yet, or, oh I imagine that when I'm older, when I'm more experienced, more wiser.

Start to see the patterns of what's holding yourself back. And we all have it. From a spiritual sense, you don't become actualized until you're fully at that top of that scale. And we're human and it's okay, we're on this group growth journey, we're evolving, but it's having the awareness to check in. How am I not in alignment with what I truly want? And then knowing that you've got some inner work to do.

Do you still experience mindset blockages?

Yes. I always say that mindset is a journey, unless you are this actualized Buddhist who truly is separate from their thoughts and their emotions, and they are purely connected.

You're going to experience the ego. You'll fall back into some patterns that are still really deeply ingrained. Mindset is a daily and every moment practice.

There are going to be some moments where you succumb to the ego. You're not good enough for that. And when you're stretching goals and you're always trying to improve yourself, there's always going to be that new level, new devil, as they say.

So there is going to be that next thing that your mindset isn't aligned to, but it's an everyday practice. I see it separately. There are the daily rituals you do to be in line with your goals, and then there's the moment to moment decisions you make where you can be triggered.

You could have anything happen externally, you know with the pandemic that's going on. The things outside your control that you never could have imagined happening. It's what you do with that moment to moment, and that's part of your mindset journey. It's not just a morning ritual that then the rest of the day goes out.

What has been the most recent biggest struggle for you around the topic of lack and scarcity?

I am doing something new this year. So I've previously only worked one to one with clients, and I'm about to launch my first group program. It's something completely new, so it's not a group program. It's like an online semi-passive program and I've never done that before.

So I've noticed those thoughts coming up, that protective loving thoughts to save me from embarrassment, save me from the tumbleweed moment that is "inevitable". It's like, stay with one-to-one, it's safe. Why are you doing this? Why are you putting all your energy into this? Nobody is going to buy it. All of these thoughts come up and it's just recognizing that my thoughts are not me.

I know where they're coming from now because I've been on my mindset journey long enough. Some days they're going hurt if they catch me from a personal point of view, like during my period, when I'm menstruating, if it catches me, then it's going to hurt because my defense is down. But I'm going to rebalance and realize my thoughts are not me.

This is simply to something to protect me. Then I go back and I do the inner work. We're human, we're growing, we're learning. It's always going to be something new beacon stretching. That's going to give us a little bit of a wobble, but it's what you do in that wobble.

In that wobble, what does your deeper work consists of?

The first step is always the awareness. I say to people that even if you notice it, celebrate yourself, because that was the very first step awareness is a super power. So just simply noticing this thought feels really icky and I don't like it, I don't think it's true but it really upsetting me, is powerful.

Second step is actually to feel the emotions. A lot of the work I do with clients is releasing emotions that have been trapped in the body. We're not taught to feel sadness and let it go, feel grief and let it go, feel angry and then let it go.

We hold onto it, and our cups are just overflowing with all of these emotions. So the second one is just sit with that emotion. Don't dwell in it, but really sit with it, allow it to pass. And when the emotions pass is when you can start to look from a mindset point of view, because it's not emotionally attached anymore.

So I love journaling personally. So you just get your journal out and the thoughts that are coming up, and I find it really powerful that when you see the words on paper that you're saying to yourself.

Instantly, there's a part of you that says, no, I don't. Then you can be like, okay, what do I believe about myself? Or what am I ready to believe about myself? What am I ready to let go of? Because if I've noticed it, then it shows my growth. I'm ready to not allow it to be part of my identity anymore.

So journaling can be really powerful in itself, but I love teaming it with tapping, like emotional freedom techniques. Physically getting it out with your body, or timeline therapy with clients where you release the emotions and the decisions from you, or hypnosis where you actually start to reprogram your mind.

It doesn't have to be long practices. These things can be done in an hour or less when you're really intentional. And from there, it's really the embodiment.

So you can do the release work, you can realign yourself, but then what do you do next time? You hear it or feel it, affirmations can be quite good or mantras or being aware. And be like, nope, this is my truth. This is what I believe. Thank you for protecting me, but it's not necessary. This is my truth.

That's why it's that day-to-day or the moment-by-moment that matters because that's when you're rewiring your mind to actually realign with what you want to believe.

What is the connection between mindset and manifestation?

From a manifestation point of view, it's simply bringing something from our mind into our reality. It's manifesting something into our life.

What I notice is that people feel differently about manifesting a free cup of coffee compared to manifesting a thousand pounds in the bank. It feels different, but energetically from a manifestation point of view, it's no difference.

A cup of coffee is energetically the same as money. The difference is our mindset of, are we ready to receive a thousand pounds? Am I worthy of receiving a thousand pounds?

That's where mindset comes in, because energetically and universally, there's no difference. If you want to manifest something, you just have to align and be ready to receive it vibrationally. The difference is what we believe in our mind.

So I work with the mindset to help you realize you're worthy of anything you want and being open to receive it energetically. That's where self-sabotage can come in for some people, because you think you want it, and you're doing all the things and the action to create and bring it to you, but actually, are you ready to receive it?

And clients is a really good example because I've been through this too, where you set an intention to call in your dream clients, but energetically, you're not ready to receive them. You might be too busy. You might have another project on or you don't actually energetically feel like you've got the time and space to dedicate to new clients.

You haven't thought that through consciously, but subconsciously and energetically within your body, you're not ready to receive them. Even if you're saying you are, as you're calling them in, there might be something within you that's not, and that's the alignment piece.

So mindset and manifestation is just being fully in alignment with your desires so that you can receive them with ease and effortlessness.

How have you personally used manifesting and your mindset to help you grow your business?

I manifest every single one of my clients. I'm not very strategic, and I'm very much in my feminine energy. One of my growth lessons is about learning how to use strategy with the balance, because I believe that you need that harmonious balance.

Yes, I'm consistent on Instagram and I love the creation of it. But I'm not, if anyone does follow me, I'm not on my stories every day being like, this is me, this is me. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. I'm very much of service and wants to support and share my message and clients are just attracted to that energy.

I set an intention for opportunities to share my message and you reached out. I don't reach out to any podcasts, I trust and I wait for the invites. So I set my intentions, I align with that, I trust that opportunities come and they always do, and it's part of the manifestation mindset.

It's trusting in divine timing that you might put a deadline on something, but it's trusting that everything's working in your favor as long as you're taking the action, aligning yourself, working in our mindset.

So you're grateful and ready to receive, things will happen for you, and that's been my experience in business. My business just took off during a pandemic in such a beautiful way and flourished, and it's because of my mindset and being ready to manifest what I want.